Gosh! Where to begin?!
Like so many other parents with uniquely gifted kids, raising my daughter has been quite a journey with its fair share of highs and lows, constantly second guessing myself, many unanswered questions, desperation (at times), along with unimaginable rewards and amazing – AMAZING learning opportunities!
Her life began with struggle: being born 4 weeks premature, purple because she was in distress and had no heartbeat and was not breathing! She needed a feeding tube for the first 2 weeks of her life and not having enough strength to get much out of a bottle, never mind the breast! Sleep has never been her friend! She was the furthest from being anything like one of those “easygoing” babies who slept all night, giggled all day and only cried when hungry or needing their diaper changed. She seemed to cry ALL THE TIME, and try as I might, she was inconsolable most of the time.
Little did I know it at the time, but her life would be a constant struggle.
There is an indescribable connection between a mother and her newborn infant that only a mother can know. Unbelievably, that connection was further strengthened even more when, after a week in the I.C.U, I almost lost my life. I had the most incredible experience that I can never forget!
You hear about near death experiences and never believe it would or could happen to you, but there I was! I passed out as soon as I finally heard my baby cry! Oh my God! She’s alive! Is all I remember thinking before waking up in the I.C.U.
I was disoriented and thirsty – So very thirsty!!!
I had tubes and needles everywhere, but kept drifting in and out of consciousness. I finally understood that my bleeding would not stop and my platelets were not clotting properly. I received several blood transfusions until they finally found the origin of the bleed and cauterized it.
At one point, I remember my eyes being closed, but I felt as though I was both in my body and hovering above my body at the same time, and able to see everything around me. I saw a very bright, yet misty-like light (just like you hear about) but I also heard a voice inside my head that kept repeating “You have to be THE mother to this child! YOU have to be the mother to THIS child!”
Pretty miraculously, after experiencing near death and being in the I.C.U. for 5 days, I recovered quickly and went home after an additional 4 days in a regular hospital room. BUT, not with my baby! She had to stay an additional 5 days in the N.I.C.U.
But those words! Those words were etched in my brain! What did it mean? Of course I was meant to be the mother to this child! I didn’t understand it at the time, but later, the message became abundantly clear!