“Well…If That Were MY Child!”

You know what’s harder than having to explain to teachers and school administration every single year for the past 12 years that my son is not trying to be difficult,  he isn’t trying to be disrespectful when he doesn’t look at you while you lecture,  he isn’t trying to challenge you when he doesn’t turn in his homework,  he’s actually listening to you when he’s creating a masterpiece on his paper and it seems like he isn’t paying attention or when, all of a sudden he freezes and can’t explain what’s happening?   

Talking to your family and getting the same looks of “Really?”  “Seriously?  “Puh-leez!!!”  

 Family members who refuse to learn about how to actually connect with my child and would rather tell me what my child should be doing!  That it’s a behavior issue and especially that unwelcome and extremely offensive, “if that were my child…” statement! 

It is strange to me that the schools seem to have no problem calling him by his preferred pronouns and name, but can not comprehend his Aspberger tendencies and look at me like I must be high when I mention ASD.

My brother, on the other hand can not understand either! 

Last Thanksgiving, my son came out to his uncle (my brother) that he prefers male pronouns and now goes by the name Theo instead of his birth name.  My brother decided to argue the obvious fact that my son does not have the anatomy necessary to be considered male and until he does, he (my brother) will not call him by his preferred pronouns or his preferred name. 

This infuriated me!  This was exactly what my son feared when I told him we were going to Texas,  “a red state”as my son put it. 

My brother has two daughters, aged 11 and 8.  At first they too refused to acknowledge my son’s preferences and actually became downright rude about it, screaming “You’re not a boy!”  However, after speaking with each of them privately about bullying and acceptance, they quickly changed their perspective and began advocating for Theo. 

Theo preferred to stay in the upstairs guest room rather than come downstairs and interact with the family and I certainly didn’t blame him!  I wouldn’t want to be around someone who continually called me by the wrong name! 

My son used to love his uncle and they sort of got each other while my son was younger, but when the teenage years kicked in and my son began experiencing depression and extreme anxiety, the relationship changed.  It saddens me that my brother doesn’t even try! 

I don’t agree with how he raises his kids, but I do respect that he is their father and I want a relationship with my neices, so I find common ground. 

End of rant

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2 thoughts on ““Well…If That Were MY Child!”

  1. Wow! If there was ever a situation that deserved a rant, this is it! The ignorance of some of the family members is stunningly ignorant 😡. I’m so relieved that your son has a mom as stunningly awesome as you! Wow again, only this time, it’s in admiration for how you handled the situation. I’m so happy that your nieces did an about-face and became your son’s advocates. That’s just too amazingly cool ❤️.

    Cheers from a fellow (South) Texan! 😘
    ~ The Silent Wave/Laina 🌟🌟

    Liked by 1 person

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